JULIE TERRELL

Who doesn’t love a good love story? I know I do. However, I always feel compelled to warn people: “ours isn’t a normal story.” When someone asks “so how did y’all meet?” I’m fairly certain no one ever expects to hear “well, we were betrothed… sortof an arranged marriage situation…” If you were hoping for a “we met and fell in love and the rest is history” type of story, I’m afraid you came to the wrong place! Our story is one of redemption and hope, but also much struggle and heartache.

Our story is unique. Yes, I’m working on writing a book, because there is so much to share about our history and the things God has done! But for the purpose of getting to know us a little bit, I wanted to put a nutshell version here on my page! Before I even begin though, I'll answer the question that most inevitably ask after they hear the story... No, this is not how we intend to do things with our kids.

As teenagers, Nathan and I were both heavily involved in a religious organization that we now recognize as a cult. But truly, at the time, it was just a group that our families both joined because there were not a whole lot of other options on the market for Christian homeschool curriculum or programs. So both of our families joined around the same time. I, being the social person that I am,  jumped at every opportunity to travel with the organization, meet new people, and see new places! One of those places included Monterrey, Mexico. That is where I met Nathan! I was 17, he was 18. He was a missionary kid who grew up in Mexico and signed up to help run a children's seminar connected to our homeschool organization. I was visiting from my home state of Colorado for the same reason! But because of the rules in the organization, we weren't allowed to hang out or anything like that. There were *very strict* guidelines about interacting with the opposite sex. Aside from working with the kids together, we didn't get to talk much. After the 5 day seminar ended, we parted ways and did not keep in touch. We ran into each other a couple times over the next 5 years, but each time was a brief "oh hi, I remember you" type of conversation. So you can imagine my surprise when I found out that this cute missionary kid had been in touch with my parents for a few months and was now at my house asking for my hand in marriage! Not "can I get to know your daughter" but "can I marry your daughter?"  *insert all of the shocked emojis here!*

This is the part of the story that I feel like I need to let people know how why I would even consider this route an option at that time. There are more details that I hope to include in the book version, but here's the best condensed version I can offer! Because of the teachings of the cult, I didn't even realize I could hear God's voice for myself. I was taught that, because I'm a girl, God would speak to my authorities on my behalf. Not directly to me. I could not more vehemently disagree with that teaching now!! But at that time, I hadn't learned the truth about *many* things. Therefore, I believed that my only job was to submit and obey to current authority, and I was very good at that! Honestly it was not hard to do for the most part, because I trust my parents so much. Now, as an adult, I feel really bad for the pressure that put on them! But then, driven by fear, I felt that the safest option was to let them choose my spouse for me. They asked MANY questions of Nathan and were happy with his answers. So by the time he came to our house to ask me to marry him, my parents had given the green light and said "the ball is in your court but you have our blessing and we think this is God's choice for you." That's all I wanted. God's best.

Part of Nathan's proposal sounded something like "I grew up on the mission field and intend to go back to Mexico as soon as possible. So I'm not just asking you to be my wife, but to be a missionary as well." I had a very romanticized idea of mission work at that time, so that sounded pretty perfect to me. I said yes at a dinner surrounded by my whole family! A few minutes later we rode back to my house together in my car... alone for the first time. He said "I've been talking to your family for months so I know a lot about you... you probably have questions for me though. Ask away!" I asked how old he was, his middle name, how many siblings he has, and a few other awkward "first date" type of questions. All while having a ring on my finger! Yes, it was very surreal. But we agreed that love first a choice, second a feeling. We chose to love each other that day.

9 months later we were married! 18 months later we suffered our first miscarriage. Soon after we found that we were expecting our precious first-born child! When she was 6 months old we packed up everything and moved to Mexico. THAT season was an adventure all it's own and probably needs it's own book! It was not an easy time. We learned many difficult lessons that I wouldn't wish on anyone, but that I'm now very grateful to have in my back pocket. In the 12 years we lived on the mission field we walked through two more miscarriages and the births of our other 3 precious children! Currently our kids range in age from 8 to 16.

Nathan and I will celebrate 19 years married this September. But it wasn't until the fall of 2016 that we began to see the true versions of each other. God did a MAJOR work in both of us and the journey of the past 4 years has been one of learning to live life with nothing hidden. Being our truest selves, showing up in vulnerability and transparency. Making room for the other person's growth and healing. Fighting for one-another instead of against one-another. This season is when I believe we actually fell in love.

Marriage ministry and coaching is one of our favorite things now, because of the many many struggles that God brought us through. If He can fix us, He truly can fix anything. It's not your average love story, for sure. But I pray that it gives you hope today. God is still Redeemer!