JULIE TERRELL

In the spring of 2020, just after my 40th birthday, a lightbulb came on in my heart. Blessed clarity!! It was glorious and seemed as though someone had taken off the lens through which I was viewing my life, removed the film created by years of legalism, crushed hope and betrayal, then gave it back to me. Crystal clear. It was beautiful and simple. I could see what steps I needed to take, what needed to be eliminated from my life, and what relationships needed to be made priority.  But the season leading up to this clarity? Brutal.

I felt like I was being pushed along in the current of a river that someone else pushed me into. I had no desire to be in this river and absolutely no clue of where it was headed, though I didn't like what I was seeing. But the worst part is that I wasn't alone! I appeared to be carrying a whole bunch of people who relied heavily on me for direction and leadership. How can you lead when you don't know where you're going, why you're there, or if you even want to end up where the river is headed?? I did my best to keep my people encouraged while attempting to navigate these unfamiliar waters, but it was heavy. Little by little I realized that I was being asked to play a role in this river that felt... off. I was told to start swimming like various others who seemed to have no problem with their load or the current. So I did. I tried copying their movements and only felt worse! My load felt heavier every day and I truly wondered if I was drowning. When I prayed for answers and instruction on how to swim more effectively, more chaos filled my heart.

Finally, one day as I was enjoying a quiet moment with God and my journal, I broke down. I poured out my heart and my tears and began asking different questions. I felt the conversation shift. Soon, everything I saw or read or heard was somehow about authenticity. I couldn't stop thinking about the word. I studied it's origins and synonyms. I wrote down a bunch of words that were tied to "authentic" that jumped off the page at me: Geniuine. Original. Real. True. I began to lean in to the subject and God opened my eyes to how many areas of my life were not being carried out authentically. I was allowing many things and areas to be simply dictated to me by someone else... and then I dutifully carried them out. How on earth did I get here?? At first I was overwhelmed by how many things I was tolerating and carrying that I never signed up for. But I quickly felt God remind my heart... you're not stuck. I had just spoken on a training call and heard these words come out of my mouth: You're not a tree! If you don't like where you are or the fruit you're seeing, change! You're not stuck.

That was the day the light switched on and clarity came. I began asking God questions about who He created me to be without all the extra pieces of what others expect, want, or even need from me. I began to ask God what I was believing about myself that wasn't true. I began asking what I was carrying that He didn't hand me and that He wanted me to lay down. My life shifted dramatically over the course of those few months! After a period of simple rest and recovery, I began dreaming again. What would I do if I could do anything? Well... I had been coaching and training for years for a couple different companies. I loved that. I loved praying about the people I coached and then watching God bring advice and strategy for their situations. What if I could do that, but without the limitations I had before? What if I could help other people learn to walk in their true, authentic identities and not waste any more days simply surviving... but learning to thrive? To truly live? To show up as their original, authentic, truest self in their marriage and job and every other area? THAT would be cool.

And so, Living Truly was born. The idea was God's and the proof is in the changes I have personally walked through. I was made for this.